Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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