judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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