I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
