craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
