So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Even my vagina gasped.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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