every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
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He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I enjoy the company of your penis
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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