these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
a search helicopter?!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
