last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
