I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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