All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
