it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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