Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
