margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
