Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.

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(904): View more from Florida

someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face

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(760): View more from California

The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?

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(845): View more from New York

I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...

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