girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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