Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.

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  (212): he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform. http://tfl.nu/ifar
  Replies (16) Good night (559) Bad night (3398)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  new low.... made out with someone while peeing

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  (908): new low.... made out with someone while peeing http://tfl.nu/2bcc
  Replies (12) Good night (1183) Bad night (4137)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.

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  (248): I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight. http://tfl.nu/uwp5
  Replies (24) Good night (3614) Bad night (1080)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"

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  (512): in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size" http://tfl.nu/ckqj
  Replies (35) Good night (1357) Bad night (7763)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.

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  (303): Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever. http://tfl.nu/ckan
  Replies (11) Good night (1445) Bad night (6496)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.

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  (504): I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of. http://tfl.nu/c6bd
  Replies (21) Good night (9669) Bad night (988)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.

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  (225): I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one. http://tfl.nu/gflz
  Replies (11) Good night (4916) Bad night (1124)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.

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  (570): In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that. http://tfl.nu/ifkh
  Replies (20) Good night (1602) Bad night (4785)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.

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  (412): I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate. http://tfl.nu/bucy
  Replies (18) Good night (3065) Bad night (988)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg

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  (217): Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg http://tfl.nu/vp09
  Replies (8) Good night (2376) Bad night (648)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.

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  (410): So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie. http://tfl.nu/7rxk
  Replies (13) Good night (1527) Bad night (663)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.

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  (610): My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help. http://tfl.nu/86v6
  Replies (8) Good night (1449) Bad night (560)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.

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  (763): The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/um2t
  Replies (2) Good night (657) Bad night (488)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.

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  (403): Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me. http://tfl.nu/p2to
  Replies (1) Good night (271) Bad night (422)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know

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  (701): no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know http://tfl.nu/z4q4
  Replies (2) Good night (303) Bad night (792)

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