he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
