I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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