In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I will pee on everything he values.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
