It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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