the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
