I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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