last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
