do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
