I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
