I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
