I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
