I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize