WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Bring me that man meat
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
