But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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