Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
