Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
