I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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