just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
you never un-have a 4some
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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