OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
