And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
