Kareoke will never be a sober sport
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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