i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
