Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
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