I smell stomach acid.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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