After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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