Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
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