So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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