You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
