Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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