so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
