You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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