Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
