I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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