Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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