man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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