I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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