Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
