Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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