chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
