if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
