Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
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