I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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