it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
