There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Dicks are not precious.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
