i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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