Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
